I am a little over the whole supersensitivity thing, political correctness and constant thinking of others. I see people post on Facebook positive memes and quotes about being strong and happy and that having a hard time isn't being weak and that's great. I love it. And if I'm not in the mood to read it then I just scroll past it. So what's my issue?
I just read an article about the latest Facebook challenge, the mum challenge, and how although it is meant to be positive and refreshing, making you stop and think about all the wonderful things that you love about being a mum/parent, there are some people who might take offence to it if they are having a hard day or have suffered the loss of a child at some point. And let's not forget the mums that don't get tagged/nominated to participate. I'm one of those mums that hasn't yet been tagged, and admittedly I was a little disappointed that none of my friends consider me to be a great mum and asked me to participate in the challenge, but for the most part I am relieved as I really am too busy being a mum and doing all I have to do to be bothered to scan through a gazillion photos to find ones to post. Besides I know I'm an amazing mum and don't need to post it to the world to prove it. But that's all beside the point. What is my point?
My point is that we have become a society that has made it SO socially acceptable to be broken that everyone around you that isn't has to walk on eggshells in case your emotions are triggered by something they say or do, and are seen as heartless and offensive. We seem to operate at both ends of the spectrum in the sense we are all super positive lifting everyone up, or super sensitive and no one can say a word. Well I've had enough. I have compassion and empathy and would never deliberately say or do something that I would consider to be offensive or uncompassionate. However I am becoming increasingly irritated by the notion that we are not to voice our opinions, brag about our successes, or share our desires with people on the chance we might offend someone, whether it be a direct friend, friend of a friend, or friend of a friend of a friend, and so on. Since when did we all become responsible for each other's issues even when we are not directly involved?
Society has come to a point that it is more socially acceptable to find an excuse not to be responsible for yourself than it is to accept that you are going through this not your friend/family/friend's brother's girlfriend's sister… and to blame others for how and who we are rather than take control of ourselves and be responsible for ourselves.
Like I said, I'm not heartless. In the scenario of the mum challenge, to those who have suffered the loss of a child be it through whatever means it was, I can only offer my deepest sympathies. I have not suffered such loss so can only imagine what it would be like. But does that mean that your friend can no longer be bursting with joy and pride for the amazing family she does have. As hard as I can only imagine it would be to see that, why should she be condemned to stay quiet because of your loss. Do you want her to suffer with you? Punishing your friend by making her feel bad about doing a great job as a parent over something she had no doing in and that she was not directly affected by is not being a good friend and not taking responsibility for you.
There is a saying that misery likes company. Well that can be entirely true. People who are miserable want other people around them to either be the strength they wish they had to lift them up or to drop down to their level so they don't feel so alone with it all. But I'll tell you something, to be the positive for someone who only wants to feel negative and although part of them so desperately wants to be happy again the bigger part of them wants to bury them in misery, is exhausting to say the least. Over time you, as a support person, end up buried just as much as the person you are trying to support. And dragging others down to your level in order to feel some what accepted and not so alone, only leads to two (or more) miserable people looking for others to blame and drag down with them. Nothing positive or even functional about that at all. So why should positive, happy, strong, responsible people be forced to tread carefully constantly in everything they do in case someo ne takes offence to it?
It is at a point that I often feel like a simple phrase such as "I'm going to get a burger" leaves yourself open to debate. The vegetarian/vegan at the next table might take offence as you are eating meat. The nutritionist feels obligated to tell you how unhealthy that burger is and how you would be much better off with a fresh tofu salad filled with chic peas and lentils. The person who is mortified by the loss of her dog is offended that you could think of eating anything in a time like this. The parent of the ADHD kid who is struggling to control his behaviour through diet is more than willing to lecture you on the effects of gluten on behaviour. And let's not even get into what hormones, artificial flavours or preservatives might be in that meat.
Here's a suggestion to make life a little happier for everyone, especially yourself. Next time you see, read or hear something that your first reaction is to take offence to, stop and think for a moment "is this directed to me personally". If it is, go ahead and voice your dislike. If not, then simply accept that everyone has different opinions and that you don't have to agree or disagree with any of them. People are at different stages in their lives, going through different things. Instead of taking offence to someone's positive post because your situation isn't so positive right now, relish in the glory of another happy, positive person in a world full of miserable self loathing pessimists and be happy for them. Strive to one day feel the same by taking control of yourself, being responsible for yourself, your choices, your actions, your words and your emotions. Smile a little more, the act of doing so even when you don't feel happy actually triggers the brain to release endorphins, you know… those happy hormones. Have courage in a world of spineless excuses, and above all be kind. Just as you may often wish people would be kinder to you, be kind to others. The mere act of helping others even in the smallest of ways is so rewarding that it will bring a little bit of happiness and love into your heart.
The law of attraction is a very real thing whether you choose to believe it or not.So instead of everyone having to walk on eggshells in hope not to offend anyone, if we all take responsibility for ourselves, then there will be much more peace and love in the world, and less anger and hate. Trying it sometime. You might be surprised how easy it is, and how amazing you will feel for it.
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